A conservative Christian's controversial thoughts on Oregon's gay marriage law

I'm going to be honest - writing this feels like a huge risk. I've written about my thoughts on same-sex marriage before, which for the most part was well received by many (even from people with opposing beliefs). But today's thoughts - I'm not so sure. This morning a judge decided that Oregon's ban on same-sex marriages was unconstitutional.

So as of today, anyone can get married in the state of Oregon.

I didn't find out the breaking news on CNN. I learned by jumping on Facebook and seeing the dozens and dozens of people posting about it. Christian friends. Non-Christian friends. Straight friends. Gay friends. Relatives... And you know what this conservative Christian wanted to do? I wanted to 'like' each post. Because deep down, I want to celebrate love all the time.

Today people who once felt...
disregarded
isolated
unloved
discriminated against

were now feeling...
validated
accepted
freedom
hope
and joy

I think those feelings are good! I want all people to feel those feelings. Believe it or not, I'm not heartless (and I know a lot of Christians who aren't heartless either - it's true!). I am not without compassion.

But this is when I tick off the other half of you readers... I couldn't do it. I didn't 'like' a single Facebook post about the new law change. It wasn't that I was worried what other people thought. In fact, like I said, I saw a lot of Christian friends celebrating. It was because of what I read last month. A few weeks ago I sat on my bed, open-minded, praying for wisdom, as I sought out the few Bible verses that might reveal God's view on the topic. I was inspired to do some more 'homework' on the subject because a Christian friend (who is gay) posted a very interesting video to Facebook. So I went digging in the Bible...

Because hate it or not, I will always side with God.

Even if it makes people mad. Even if I seem cray-cray. (I'm sure by simply using that term, half of you think I'm crazy now anyway.)

When I read the verses in the Old and New Testaments, I felt like God was including homosexual behavior in a list of behaviors that were dishonoring to Him. And, to me, I couldn't see how those references were solely for that particular time period or cultural context. I know plenty of people who disagree with me. And to be honest, it does leave me more confused. Believing that God intends romantic relationships to be between a man and woman is not the 'easy' answer. Because...

I can't explain why people are born that way. I've had new thoughts about this but they're not from research or from personal experience, nor from divine wisdom, so I'll keep those thoughts to myself.

I can't explain why people interpret the verses so differently. I sometimes second-guess God's strategy in giving us a book like the Bible for instruction. So complicated! So controversial! So ... unclear sometimes!

And I can't explain why it would be displeasing to Him. Why did He choose to create a man and a woman to be together in Genesis?

So today I simply felt torn: Celebrating love but wanting God to be honored above all. (If I were honest, it's not legalizing gay marriage that feels dishonoring. Truthfully, I don't think government should have a say in what relationships should or should not be formally recognized. The issue for me was could I celebrate something that I felt was against God's intended way.)

Many of you probably think that both can happen in the context of gay marriage: celebrating and honoring God. But I couldn't come to that peaceful conclusion today. I'm sharing this because I think we miss something important when we stubbornly cling to one side of this 'issue' (I've purposely avoided that word this whole blog but can't seem to find another word to fit here).

Some things that seemingly should be simple, aren't.

And today, my reaction and feelings aren't simple. If anything, I hope hearing raw honesty, even if you disagree with the conclusion, and hearing from a heart that earnestly seeks to love well and stay true to convictions, is somewhat refreshing. Or perhaps it's refreshing to just hear a Christian say they don't have it all together. (insert winking emoticon here)


“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
Matthew 22:36-39