When we break negative cycles from our past, love wins.When the voice that says "I am enough" is louder than the voice that says, "You're not worth it", (self) love wins.

My reaction and feelings aren't simple. If anything, I hope hearing raw honesty, even if you disagree with the conclusion, and hearing from a heart that earnestly seeks to love well and stay true to convictions, is somewhat refreshing.

Well it's done. I'm officially thirty. Three life lessons come into focus as I reflect…

30. Don't text when you're mad. It's too easy to say things you shouldn't.

Approach is everything. "It's not what you say but how you say it." Someone smart made that up. They're right.

"Have your opinions on gay marriage changed over the last 5 years?" I posed this question to my close (and very conservative) friends while devouring chips, guacamole and sipping strawberry lime margaritas.

Well it's inevitable. You're going to mess up. You're going to get angry. You're going to say something you shouldn't. We all do it.Which is why it's important to know what do afterwards.

Sometimes we'd communicate well, understand one another, empathize with each other, and still not come to an agreement we both could authentically make around an issue. It felt very much like a stalemate.

Ken (our counselor) suggests living by the five to one rule. For every one one challenging or difficult conversation, do five encouraging things to/for that person.

But a month ago Ken encouraged me to accept an issue that has very much felt like a 'thorn in my side' but was completely out of my control.

Last Friday I wrote about listening. Not my strength.But today I'm writing what I've learned about talking (my fav), particularly in a difficult conversation but I think this can apply to any purposeful conversation.

Listening.Gosh. Just not my fortay. But I'm learning A TON about it. This applies to my friendships, not just my marriage.

There are three reasons for this series: 1. I might save you a co-pay (or therapy session fee) by sharing what I'm learning or have learned. 2. It forces me to be thoughtful about what I'm learning

For five years I’ve felt like a wooden raft adrift in a sea of thrashing waves. They’re tearing me apart. I can’t catch my breath before I’m pummeled by the next one. There’s no hope. It’s dark. I’m cold and wet. And I want out. I want out of this turbulent marriage.

Our 'train left the station'. Or so it sometimes seems. How many times we watched it go by. Hope deflated from our dreams.

We've had SO many speed bumps the first few years. With living far away (in terribly remote places), dealing with family heart ache…

I was 16. Jake was 15. I was sophomore. Jake was a freshman.My best friend was Melissa Bisset. Jake had a crush on Melissa Bisset.