Ken's Corner - Emotionality

I'm starting a blog series. Every Friday (or at least when I have the time) I'm going to write a blog in a series called the Ken's Corner. Ken's my counselor I've seen for over 2 years now (mostly with Jake, sometimes without).

There are three reasons for this series:
1. I might save you a co-pay (or therapy session fee) by sharing what I'm learning or have learned.
2. It forces me to be thoughtful about what I'm learning
3. I've liked the idea for a blog 'series' for a long time now.
4. My counselor and I realized today how therapeutic writing is for me.

Let's begin...

Today Ken spoke to me about emotionality. I had never heard that word before. He started by asking me, very gently, why I was so emotional in our sessions. You'd think this question might provoke defensiveness. It did not. I trust him. And I'm super aware I cry a lot. Why deny it. He prefaced the conversation by saying that crying isn't bad, per say, but it can make spouses immediately defensive and uncomfortable. Seems worth reflecting about. So we did.

We unearthed 3 reasons why I'm so emotional in our marriage sessions. I'll spare you the details, but after listing them out, we talked about potential solutions to each one. (I really appreciate how practical he is)

One solution was a rubber band. Yup. A rubber band.

He asked me to put it on my wrist and encouraged me to snap myself (stay with me!) when my thoughts became negative and unproductive. Realistically, he said it could be a reminder to 'snap out of it' but I like the actual snapping idea. :)

So here's my take away this week: Emotions aren't bad but it's worth reflecting on why we react the way we do (especially us women that co-function as faucets at times). Write out thoughts. Identify feelings. And think about solutions.

Simple and productive.
Now to execute!